FALLUJAH, -- In a second incident in as many days, U.S. troops fired on Iraqi protesters protesting the shooting and killing of Iraqi protesters by U.S. troops the day before. Two protesters were killed.

Meanwhile, Donald Rumsfeld addressed is from one of the Presidential palaces in Baghdad. "Iraq belongs to you," he said. "It's only the bullets that belong to us."

Tomorrow, President Bush will stand on the deck of a really big aircraft carrier and announce that the war is over. "We've licked this whole thing," he said today.

He was later heard to mutter, "If only we could get those Iraqis to stop shooting at us."